Please follow the links highlighted below to get some materials that will inspire you to live the life that God intended for you.
I especially recommend this book by a well reknowned author Joel Osteen. The book will help you overcome negative thinking and any limitations people may have put on you hindering your progress in life. It will also help you to stop making excuses and decide enough is enough. You will then be empowered to take charge of your life and destiny and live the life you were meant to live. https://amzn.to/2JCnOdX
This book https://amzn.to/39Ful2x available on Amazon, will help you understand yourself better after understanding your core feelings. You will understand feelings are not always bad but they are tools that allows us to live truthfully. When we are true to ourselves, we can then easily address the areas that we need to work on.
I recommend buying this book or even listening to the audible version. This book will also teach you the importance of being true to your authentic self so you can be all you were meant to be.