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Stop living other people’s life

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are”.Malcolm Forbes

Successful people have dreams and are always working to fulfill those dreams. They understand they were created not live other people’s life but to live their own life and to do what they feel they are called to do. They don’t live their lives trying to please or to impress others. Everybody in this planet is unique, and you cannot fully walk in your purpose if you are the kind of person who is always trying to steal other people’s identity. When you do so, you are merely existing not living. You have lost your sense of purpose, and are now trying to live up to other people’s expectations as you dont have your own expectations to meet in life. The truth is, you cannot succeed at being somebody else, this is short lived life. This is the reason why you need to understand your purpose in life.

Discovering your life purpose allows you to live your own life and meet your own expectations. You stop following other people’s rules for life, you make your own, and live by them. You develop your own standards and themes. You focus on accomplishing your goals without worrying so much what others may think of you. You simply understand yourself. While you may get ideas and inspiration from others, you are not so interested at mimicking them every step of the way. You understand the path you are meant to be travelling and you always stick to your lane.

In the absence of strong sense of purpose, it becomes easy to lose your path, and desire to run somebody else’s race. Sadly many people are like this in life, they would rather mimic others in life than be their authentic self. They shy away from being themselves as they do not consider themselves good enough. You are good enough and you must believe that. “Nobody will ever be as good as you in your God given purpose“. This is the more reason why you should concentrate on what you were created to do. It may not earn you a million dollars but one thing is sure, it will give you satisfaction and fulfment in life.

Be careful who you pretend to be, you might forget who you are” (Anonymous)

People who try to live other people’s life or to steal other people’s identity struggle so hard, even though they may not show it, deep within they know they are struggling. What you need to understand is, your life purpose is tied to your strengths not limitations. When you are doing what you were created to do, there is that sense of joy and satisfaction that you feel and you know it. You feel motivated to do what you are doing and you give it your all because this is where you shine. You have no time for cheap imitation, you are connected to your life purpose and this is evidenced by how passionate you are about it.

“Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable” (Anon)

Top Five Secrets to true happiness


Happiness is a common denominator in every human being. There is no human being who desires to be miserable in life. We are all in pursuit of happiness in all our daily endeavours. Everything we do in life is based on our desire to live a happy and comfortable life. You cannot say I want to be comfortable in life without being happy. All the comfort without happiness is totally meaningless. In my life I have discovered a few secrets to happiness and would love to share these with you, the reader. I hope you find them useful too.

Be grateful

Gratitude is a word we often overlook, but it is very important to be grateful in life even in little things. You don’t have to wait for a massive event to happen in your life to be grateful. Be grateful for the little things, when somebody gives you a compliment, when somebody wishes you well, congratulates you, gives you a gift, gives you way, and so on and so forth. Most importantly, be grateful to God for the gift of life itself, good health and for any other thing you can think of, there’s so much to be grateful for in life. You cannot be grateful and remain miserable.


People usually say forgiveness is easier said than done. This is usually dependant on the offence. It is easier to forgive little offences as opposed to big ones. Whether the offence is big or small, you need to try and forgive. It is not always going to be easy yes, but is is for your own good. What you need to realise is, forgiveness is not so much about the other person as it is about you, your peace of mind. Holding grudges only makes you bitter. A bitter person cannot be truly happy, they can force a smile but they cannot be truly happy. If you want to be truly happy, learn to forgive people as soon as you can. This way you set yourself free to be yourself.

Do the things that you enjoy and are passionate about

Happy people are the ones who focus on doing not what is popular, but what they are passionate about. While most people choose to follow the crowd in the journey of life, these people focus on doing what they genuinely love doing or are passionate about. They are not bothered about following the masses or trying to fit in. They understand they were born to stand out not to fit in.

Avoid negativity at all costs

Negative people and situations will automatically make you negative. It doesn’t matter who the person is or what situation it is. If you realise that a situation or an individual is not bringing you positive vibes, the best thing you can do is avoid that person or situation if you possibly can. In situations where this is impossible, make sure you spend the minimum time possible with that individual/individuals. This could be at work for example, or people you cannot avoid completely like relatives. You are not doing this because you hate these people, but to protect yourself from their negativity. You can still be there for them if they need you, but you need to avoid spending too much time with them.

Acquaint yourself with God

Last but not the least, put God first in your life. He is the real joy giver. This joy is not usually dependant on what is happening around you, but rather what is on the inside of you. Only God can give you such joy. “The joy of the Lord is my strength”. (Nehemiah 8:10)

These are my top secrets to true happiness. I hope you found them useful. Am also sure there’s more secrets to happiness, please feel free to comment if you have more to add to the list.

Living An Abundant Life

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John10:10)

Are you living an abundant life? Most people think that living an abundant life means you have everything you want in this life. On the contrary, living a life of abundance has nothing to do with what or what you don’t have. Living a life of abundance means righteousness, peace, and joy. It means you are hopeful for the future no matter how gloom it may look at the present time. No matter how bad things are, you still maintain your joy. The Bible says the joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10). It means you focus not on what is wrong; but what is right. You remain hopeful even in the midst of chaos. You choose to remain positive even when you have a reason to be negative.

When you are living a life of abundance, you are grateful even for the little things. You find reasons to be grateful instead of complaining all the time. You can rejoice when others are succeeding because you know you are also a candidate in line for success. You understand what God has in store for you will eventually come to you, though it may tarry. You trust that things will be alright. You trust in God’s timing. You know he has good plans for you, to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah29:11)

Romans 5:3-5 says: “And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and this hope does not disappoint us, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit. Having this consciousness, you await your blessing with joy. You are hopeful for the future. You don’t have time to grumble or murmur.

When you understand that Christ came to give you not only life but a life that is full, you don’t allow the enemy to still your joy. Our enemy, the devil, comes to steal our joy and peace, but only if you fail to understand who you are in Christ and the life that he has given you.

Jesus came to give you a life of righteousness peace and joy. This is not determined by what is happening around you. It is determined by what is on the inside of you. John 7:38, says: He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. When you have the life of Christ, what flows out of you will be joy, you will refresh others with your words, you will exhibit peace, joy, and love, this is the life Christ came to give you. When others only rejoice when things are going well, you rejoice at all times because of the one living on the inside of you.

So, are you living an abundant life? Don’t allow the enemy to steal the life that Jesus came to give you. Don’t allow the cares of the past, present, or the future to diminish your joy. You can boldly proclaim “the joy of the Lord is my strength ” because you have the life of Christ, a life of abundance.

Cut out clutter from your life

How can you define your life of lately? How much clutter have you allowed to accumulate in your mental space?Sometimes our lives are full of so much unnecessary clutter. Things that occupy our space and time, without necessarily adding anything to our lives. What do you spend most of your time doing? How much time do you allocate to what?

If a big portion of your time is occupied by unproductive activities, you will struggle hard to get to your destiny. If you want to succeed in your endeavours, you must unapologetically cut out everything that is not adding value to your life. Spending too much time on social media for example, checking who said what or who did what does not necessarily add anything to your life. You can choose to use social media wisely, to inspire and to be inspired by others, to encourage others and to be encouraged by them, and you dont need to spend long periods of time there. Also chatting on the phone for long periods of time, gossiping, another time waster, things that are surely taking your precious time without adding anything to you. Things and activities that can dampen your spirit. It is even much better to spend this time exercising or keeping fit which is not only healthy, but can lift up your mood and spirits.

I realised in my life I am more productive after cutting out some unnecessary activities from my life. I also realised I am more focused on my goals as a result. When you minimise the amount of time you spend on less productive activities, you realise you have more time to focus on more important stuff. It becomes easier to achieve your goals.

Try and set yourself some goals to achieve, and you will find that you won’t have time to waste, as you are focused on your goals, you are able to block out any distractions. You are able to filter the necessary from the unnecessary. This is how you know you are focused and committed to your goals. It is never too late; as from now going foward, you can decide to de-clutter your mind and life, you can decide what you need to get rid of, just as you can decide to clear the physical clutter lying around your house, in the same way, you can clear the mental and emotional clutter, things that are occupying your head and mind but not really adding any value to you. Things that could be dragging you down or even stressing you out unnecessarily.

Time wasted will never be recovered. Sometimes we come to this realisation so late, you don’t want to find yourself in this situation. Your time is too precious to waste, make sure you spend it in a more productive manner. You dont want to wake up one day and wish you did the things you always wanted to do. You don’t want to live with regrets whatsoever. You don’t want to wish you spent your time wisely, you can choose to spend it wisely from now on.

What others say or think of you

To be concerned with what people say or think of you is a total waste of time. You have to remember that people will always have something to say or think about you. It could be negative or positive. People will judge you by how you talk, walk, dress or carry yourself around. You cannot escape from that, it is a reality you have to accept. While positive talks can be uplifting, negative talks can have a lasting and damaging effect on others. Wise people may choose to reserve their negative comments and keep it to themselves. Others will be quick to make comments and remarks even when they don’t know you very well. There are others still who may have heard a lot about you even before they met you in person, and so they base their judgements on heresies.

Haven’t you heard people during a conversation saying ; I heard this and that about so and so. Yes, they heard and chose to believe it before establishing the real facts or truth. They in turn base their opinion on that and they pass their opinion to others who also do the same. The problem with this is; fabricated stories can appear true when everybody have chosen to believe in it. All this is caused by gossip. Be aware of gossipers and avoid them if you want peace. Gossip has caused a lot of heartaches and break ups in relationships with families and friends. You have to remember that some people are out their to tarnish your name and they will try by all means possible to do that. This could be out of pure jealousy or envy but their goal is to make others dislike you. They may be jealous of your success, progress, your beauty, your happiness and for the fact that others love you can make them envious of you.

This is the reason why you should steer clear of people who gossips too much about others. Yes gossip! it betrays confidence. Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Most problems we have today are caused by gossipers, people who cannot hold their tongues, people when you share with them your issues they cant wait to share with everybody. Lack of trustworthiness. What I have discovered in life is most gossipers have nothing important to talk about. They are small talkers. They cannot talk about how to make progress in life, they are betrayers, full of negativity. They rarely notice the good things in others. All they see is what is wrong with others or what is going wrong. Don’t be drawn into that trail of gossip. Before you know you will have mastered the art of gossip. It may be very hard if you are used to listening to gossip. Gossip is sweet, it tickles our ears, we are so eager to hear who did what, who broke up with who. Proverbs 18:8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels that go down to the innermost being. Proverbs 16:28: A perverse person stirs up conflict and a gossip separates close friends. I have noticed that any time I ever allowed myself to listen to gossip, I found myself saying something I wouldn’t have wanted to say, sometimes even regretting why I said it. If you hang out with gossipers you will become one of them, after all, “birds of the same feather flock together”.

If you want peace in your life, stop being bothered by what others think or say about you. You know yourself better than them. They only know what they see or hear about you. Learn to mind your business and stay away from idlers and gossipers or people who talk too much.

Refuse To Live In Comfort Zones

Comfort zones make us feel safe and at ease. We are used to and familiar with who we are and our surroundings. We are happy with the way things are. We are happy when others are doing things for us, who wouldn’t want breakfast in bed every morning, comfy isn’t it? This is just a simple and ideal life example but this is how comfortable we can get when living in comfort zones. We feel threatened if we try to do things we have never done before. We get used to our normal way of life and hence, our comfort zones. It may feel safe and secure for us to live this way, but comfort zones will never allow us to fully evolve to the people God intended us to be.

Living in comfort zones inhibits our growth. The unwillingness to stretch ourselves for the fear of the unknown will stagnate us in life. It will hinder our progress and incapacitate our mental agility. It may be attractive to us for some time but when we come to realize we are not getting anywhere in life, we will understand the dangers of living in comfort zones.

Yes, the Bible reminds us to be content as Paul states in (Philippians 4:11-13) but this does not mean we stay in one place in life. It means we should be happy at wherever point we find ourselves in life knowing that God is always there for us. It doesn’t indicate in any way that we remain in the same place forever. Being content doesn’t mean we stop developing ourselves, in fact, each day we should strive to become a better version of ourselves. We should aim to improve ourselves on a regular basis. We should aim to become a better person than we were yesterday.

Comfort zones make us afraid to try new things or to move out of our surroundings. In our hearts, we know we need a change but we are too afraid to venture out of our comfort zones. We keep desiring better things and better lives but we are too afraid to fail or to try in case we don’t succeed. Comfort zones, therefore, breed the fear of what could possibly go wrong.

Unfortunately, our lives will always remain the same until we decide to do what we are always afraid of doing. We have to conquer the fear of what could go wrong and focus on what could go right. Instead of always supposing what could possibly go wrong, suppose things work out for the better? Suppose our lives could change for the better?

If you want to make progress in life, you need to dare to get out of your comfort zones. It may be scary at first yes, but every bit you do as you try to get out of your comfort zones will make the next step easier and better. If you look back at your life, are there things you never thought you will never be able to do? You were comfortable with your life until you decided to pursue that career, learn that new skill, start that business. I believe we all have achieved our own milestones which we possibly never thought were achievable no matter how small these are and this should motivate you to get out of your comfort zones and do what you desire to do in life.

Destiny helpers

Destiny helpers are people ordained by God himself to stand by you for a specific time frame. They may be there for you in the short or long haul but their purpose is clear, to help you get to the next level. Destiny helpers can spot you and immediately realize you need help to fulfil your dream. You may also be divinely led to them. These people don’t hesitate to offer you a helping hand whether you ask for help or not. Sometimes we miss our destiny helpers due to the wrong positioning. We position ourselves in the wrong places or with the wrong people and therefore we miss the people who are truly meant to be there for us. We try to fit in with the crowd or try to be everywhere with the expectation that we will get people to support us. This only leaves you exhausted instead of exhilarated, stressed out instead of being stirred up. The fact that you hang around certain people does not necessarily mean they will be there for you. You may have already experienced disappointment from people you expected to be there for you, so you understand that this happens in real life.

As long as you are in the wrong place or hanging out with the wrong crowd, you will struggle to get to your destiny. Sometimes it’s the peer pressure, especially for young people. The need to belong. This need to belong has led to many people halting on the journey to their destiny. If you hang out with the wrong crowd, you can be sure you will never reach your full potential in life. It may seem harmless at first, but the influence or the people you hang around play a big role in your character development and therefore have a big impact on your life. You cannot hang around chickens and expect to soar like the eagle. This is a fact of life. Some associations may not be good for you. They may be the biggest hindrance to your destiny. If they are not making a positive impact in your life then it’s about time you dissociate from them.

The painful truth is, you must let go of some things and people in life at some point. These people may not be necessarily bad people but they are simply not part of your journey anymore. Their part of the story may be over the moment you realize they are not helping you towards your destiny. There are people who are ordained to help you reach your destiny. They may not look or match your expectations and so sometimes it might be difficult to spot them. If you find people who are willingly supporting your dreams and goals without much persuasion from you, then you have spotted a destiny helper. I have come across such people in my life, people I never even expected or imagined to support me, and to my surprise, they do more than I expected from them. This is the more reason I say pay attention, your destiny helpers may not necessarily be friends, on the contrary, they may be complete strangers to you. Their assignment is to help you get to the next level. Stop expecting everybody to be there for you, you will be in for a big disappointment. Only those ordained by God himself will stand by you, not necessarily friends or even relatives.

How resilient are you in life?

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties. People with a sense of purpose are able turn life’s proverbial lemons to lemonade, in other words, they are able to find meaning in life’s difficulties. They can turn their difficulties into opportunities. They do not dwell on their challenges, but they try to find a meaning in those challenges. For example, for somebody who went through a difficult relationship or childhood, they don’t just dwell there asking why me why me all the times but they use their life’s challenges to make something happen, they may write a book of their experiences to help others or they may start a charity to help children who are disadvantaged in the society. These people use their challenges as a stepping-stone to greater things in life and they therefore end up touching and helping other people along the way.

If you can look at your own life right now, how well can you say you are handling life’s up and downs? Are you able to pick yourself up after a crisis or after a difficult life situation? We all go through or have gone through some difficult moments in our individual lives. We sometimes feel we cannot cope with what is happening or what has happened in our lives, and since we are all human, these issues will affect us, and we are likely to feel down for a considerable amount of time. The truth is, we need some time to heal and recover from life’s predicaments; it does not happen overnight, it is a process, and depending on the issue at hand, some people might take weeks, other people months and even years for some to get over it. While this is acceptable to some extent, if we find ourselves unable to cope for a prolonged period, it may mean we did not have a strong sense of purpose in our lives. It may mean we never had something else to look up to in life. When you have a purpose or a strong sense of life purpose for that matter, you are resilient no matter what happens to you, you will feel the pain and be down at times, but you are able to quickly recover from all that as you have something greater you are focused on.

Learn to live in the moment

Living in the moment means you are making proper use of every moment you have because that moment will never come again. There are so many issues that can dampen our spirits, we are never short of them. We worry about everything. We worry about who likes us or who doesn’t, we worry about our looks, we worry about finances. We worry about our health. We worry about our children, our future, we even worry about things that may never happen. Living in the moment doesn’t necessarily mean we forget all our problems and neither does it make our problems disappear.

Living in the moment means despite all that is happening around us we chose to remain positive and optimistic. we maintain our joy, we stop worrying about unnecessary things and we also realize that worrying does not solve any of our problems, it only magnifies them. We focus on the positive side of life at all times. When we have a problem, we look for a solution if possible. If we are unable to look for a solution, we can pray about it and then relax. Sometimes we waste so much time focusing on the wrong stuff that is happening to us such that we lose our peace and joy. Instead of focusing on your problems, just get dressed get out, have a little walk, jog, run or do some exercise. This is good not only for your physical health but also your emotional health. It will also help to boost your mood and become more positive minded.

Living in the moment also means taking one day at a time. This does not mean we are careless with life or we fail to plan for the future, it simply mean we quit worrying about the future and we stop focusing so much on our past failures. When we learn to live in the moment we find reasons to be grateful even in small things. We are able to perform random acts of kindness and we can notice the beauty in our world and in other people’s life. We can confidently wear a smile not because everything is rosy and cozy but because we appreciate life.

What Is Success?

How do you define success in life? We all have different definitions for success. For some, success means money and fame. For others success means raising their children well. For others, it is when life is good and when they are happy. For others, it is when they strike a wonderful deal in their endeavours and for others is when everything goes to plan. But what is the real definition of success? While there is no one correct or wrong answers to all our definitions, real success is when your life is fulfilled in God. Real success is when you commit your plans to God as the Bible tells us in the Book of Proverbs 16;13. This tells us that our success in whatever our definitions cannot be true success if we are outside the will of God.

The Bible tells us to seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all the things we need shall be added unto us (as a bonus), Matthew 6:33. Our priority should be to seek the will of God for our lives before anything else we ever need in this life. Only then can we be successful in our lives. In the book of Deuteronomy 8:18, the Bible also states, You shall remember God for it is he who gives you power to get wealth. This means anything we have and will ever have is not just as a result of our hard work, it is God who enables us to acquire these things. What does this tell us? Any form of success outside the will of God is not success as far as God is concerned. When God makes you successful in whatever your endeavours, your success cannot just fade away and even if he takes it away, he will replace it with something better. The story of Job explains this better, Job 42:12 which says God blessed his latter days more than his beginning.

Also in the book of Joshua1:8, it states, This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous and then you will have good success. What does this tell us? God want us to obey his word and keep his commandments, only then can we have true success if we honour and reference him. Also the book of Proverbs 3:1-4 talks about observing God’s commandments so that our days may be lengthened and peace will be our portion too if we hearken to his commands , and the last part talks about us finding favour and good success in the sight of God and man.

To conclude, we can see that, for us to be successful and according to the word of God, God must be the centre of everything we do or plan to do. Anything we do or plan outside the will of God cannot bring us good success. This success outside his will is only short lived. God want us to be successful and prosperous in his will. God is not against us being wealthy if we are in his will. He blessed Job with so much wealth as we have seen. In conclusion and based on the word of God, success cannot be measured by monetary or material terms but how happy and fulfilled we are in the will of God for our lives.

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